Eye Surgery Was Yesterday

Yesterdy was my eye surgery. I got onto the unit half an hour early and was admitted over an hour late because the person before me required complex care. I would've been operated on at 10:00 AM but wasn't until around noon. Technically, the operation was somewhat of a success and somewhat of a failure. The ophthalologist was able to remove the lens, but not implant an artificial lens. She told my husband that for color vision, which I was mostly hoping for, this would not make a difference.

Functionally, well, what can I say? I went to get checked up today and was able to see the flashlight on the first try and also see the blue light used for checking eye pressure. Prior to surgery, the optometrist had had to move the light closer two times before I could see it and I didn't see the blue light. To be honest, I knew the blue light was blue; I could not actually see that this time either. The doctor checked whether I could see what direction the light came from (light projection) or whether I could see her hand move right in front of my eyes, but I could see neither. I had swelling on my cornea, so it could be once this clears up I will get some further improvement in vision. Overall though, I feel that functionally surgery mostly failed, and I reckon the cataract specialist would never have put me on the list had he known this tiny improvement would be all I got. I do hope once I'm all recovered, I can close this chapter and finally accept the fact that I will always be completely functionally blind.

Eye Surgery

I've been legally blind all my life from a condition called retinopathy of prematurity. This condition is i itself not degenerative, but it often leads to retinal detachment due to scar tissue pulling on the retina. In addition, cataracts and glaucoma may develop. In 1993, I developed a cataract on my right (worse) eye. The cataract specialist felt it would be useless to operate on, so my own retina specialist removed the lens, but didn't implant an artifical lens because I was either too young or she didn't have the ability to perform this procedure. In around 1998, I lost what little vsion I had retained in that eye due to a retinal detachment.

In 2003 or 2004, I developed a cataract on my left eye. I went to an eye doctor for somethigng different (suspected glaucoma, which was then ruled out) in March of 2004. While we were there anway, my father asked the doctor whether cataract surgery would make any sense. The doctor was vague, saying if I thought I would regain some sight he might be willing to put me on the list, but he wouldn't recommend it really. I was raised with the idea that I had to accept blindness and, from my last surgery in 1994 on, my parents treated me like I had no useable vision, so I decided I shouldn't pursue surgery.

But the thought ate at me: what if surgery could restore some of my sight? In 2011 or 2012, I started discussing this with the nurses at my former institution, and they advised me to seek out a medical opinion. Earlier this year, I took up the courage and asked my GP to refer me to an eye doctor at the city's university medical center. When there, the doctor proposed an ultrasound to look at the condition of my retina and optic nerve. He also requested my records from the hospital I'd been going to in the 1990s. Then he sent me on to the cataract specialist.

The cataract specialist said there was really no way of knowing what the actual functional outcome would be. Like, I had no retinal detachment on my left eye and my optic nerve was fine, but that didn't mean I'd actually gain any sight back per se. I read up on some research and found that structural condition of the retina really does not say everything about visual function. The cataract specialist was willing to put me on the list for surgery, and I came in hoping to get surgery, so I consented to this. There is some risk that I'll get bleeding or a retinal detachment due to surgery, but given that I only have a minimal bit of light perception now (being able to discern daylight from night time but not much else), I'm willing to risk this.

Surgery is next Monday. I'm kind of nervous. I guess I'd feel guilty if there were no improvement. Then again, I'd at least know that this was the last thing I could do for my sight then. I feel if there's going to be no improement and I remain totally blind, I will be able to close this chapter sort of. The doctor had some hope that I would regain hand motion vision, which I had in the 1990s, but I am more pessimistic. If I will be able to see colors and very large objects, that would be absolutely great.